Voice
by turbomagnus
Summary: Just another day in the Academy, distractions and all. Why did he have to have voices in his head?


Summary: Just another day in the Academy, distractions and all.

Disclaimer: This is a disclaimer. It exists to tell you that Kishimoto and not I owns Naruto and all related characters and situations... Yeah, because if I owned it, some people would be getting serious 'attitudinal'-type adjustments... Where was I? Oh, right... All related characters and situations are used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit... Adjustments, I say!

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"Voice"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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The teacher always complained about him not paying attention, but never bothered to find out why he was distracted. If he ever cared enough to ask, he could easily learn, though it might scare him. It had scared the student at first until he had reached the point where it was more distracting, frightening and annoying than intimidating. It was difficult to pay attention when he could barely hear the teacher through the sounds of himself slowly going insane. It had to be him going insane, because only crazy people had voices that only they could hear. Of course, if he wasn't already crazy, the voices in his head were going to drive him there, he was sure of it.

That day was a good example; his crush had hit him on the head, the class's 'pretty boy' and 'arrogant ass' had ran their mouths again and to top it all off, that stupid little dog the arrogant ass got to carry around with him - because it was his 'partner' - had actually peed on his foot. Then the voice had started...

 _'Kill the males, eat the dog and enjoy the girls.'_

He was going to be the next leader of his village, he was not going to start killing his classmates, there was no way he was going to eat a dog - especially with all that fur - and he was pretty sure he didn't want to know what the voice meant by 'enjoy the girls'.

'Shut up, stupid voice,' he thought firmly.

 _'It's not like anyone cares about most of them, they're just here to fill out the class numbers and serve as cannon fodder to die instead of clan heirs and bloodline holders.'_ The voice argued, _'I'm sure nobody will even know their names or even that they existed in a few years.'_

A few minutes passed before the voice 'spoke' again.

 _'Dogs are good eating.'_

' _Ramen_ is good,' he mentally countered sharply, 'Dogs are furry and disgusting. Nobody in their right mind would want to eat a dog when they could have the food of the gods instead.'

Honestly, he didn't understand why the Old Man hadn't just gone ahead and declared ramen the official food of the village already, it just meant he'd have to do it when he got the job himself, even though he was sure everyone should have already known that ramen was the best. It was just further proof that most of the time the villagers didn't have the first idea what they were talking about that they refused to accept that culinary truth.

More time passed before he happened to end up looking where most of the girls in the classroom were sitting after the teacher had called on one of them to answer a question and the voice in his head interjected its opinion once more.

 _'Come on, there's something for everyone; blonde if you're into that, if you prefer dark-haired girls there's that one with the blue-black locks... that pink thing could even be considered 'a redhead' in a stretch.'_

'She is not a _pink thing_!' He shouted in the lack of privacy of his own head, wishing that the voice would just shut up already so that he could focus on the day's lessons.

 _'Just keep telling yourself that, kid - I'll never believe it,'_ came one of the voice's rare direct responses to his thoughts. It usually prefered taunting him and then ignoring his replies. There was a pause as though the voice was thinking before it continued, _'Why not just take them all? One alpha, pack of females, that's the way it's supposed to work...'_

That made him wonder if the voice was from the same family as the 'arrogant ass', they were the only ones he knew of that talked like that.

 _'Don't you ever wonder what that one girl is looking at with her 'All-Seeing Eyes' that makes her blush all the time?'_

Frowning, he glanced around trying to figure out who the voice was talking about. He was sure he didn't know any girl that blushed all the time; the only one he could think of that was anything like that was the girl that was always running a fever and fainting. If she was that sick, she really should have left the academy, but he thought she was a clan heiress so maybe her family wouldn't let her. It made him bitter sometimes to think that at least she had a family. Times like that usually led to a pranking spree of epic proportions to raise his spirits back up. Unfortunately for him, thoughts of families set the voice off again.

 _'The blonde is probably a kinky one - all her family's techniques rely on the target being restrained, after all...'_

"Shut up, voice, before I stab you with a Q-Tip!" Uzumaki Naruto shouted out-loud as he jumped to his feet.

"Naruto!" Iruka-Sensei snapped at him, angry at the interruption of the day's lesson, "Pay attention! Unless, of course, you think you already know why the First chose a system of numbered squads for Konoha's ninja forces?"

'Ugh,' Naruto thought as he dropped back into his seat, 'Maybe that voice doesn't have such a bad idea after all...'

To the world outside, however, all he said was, "Boring, Iruka-Sensei..."


End file.
